The Upside of Betrayal (free write)

It's 4:24, I don't feel it so much anymore. The ache, the heart pains aren't here. There is a residual effect, a lull, a sadness, a dark depth of gloom that I can easily tap into but I choose not to do so. I need to be free of this negative energy, I wasn't free then.

I was caged, like a helpless bird, eager to be alone and sometimes to fight, craving, piercing skin. But now I'm here in the present, feeling the soft breeze, the gentle tickle of life's breath on my skin. I know this is real. The universe is a true friend. I feel love, joy, peace, tranquility. I can be me again.

It is love at first sight. Even an unused, empty basin of water, such as an unused pool with no water but dust and emptiness; even this does not stir me. I don't view life with fogged lenses. I'm seeing things more clearly, realizing what's real, who is real, what energy exists.

I'm taking in the positive with more than indifference. I am taking risks, afraid, this is true, but real to my own depths, my own vulnerability. I can see clearly now. The man on his cool skateboard laughing from his belly. The depths of his nature inspire me. He is joyful and so can I be. There is no limit now, this horizon knows no end, for infinite. My spirit will not die. It will exist with gratitude and joy. I just can't say thank you enough. Thank you.